I thought remote work would give me freedom. The promise was irresistible: no commute, flexibility, and the ability to balance work with life on my terms. With some travel sprinkled in. But somewhere along the way, that freedom turned into a trap.
I worked remotely more than ten years. About six years in, things changed. And not in a good way. Work took over my life and I didn’t follow the advice I often gave others.
I worked long hours. Sat chained to my desk and answered emails and messages long into the evening and on weekends.
I overachieved to prove my value. I thought that being “always available” would protect me. Make me indispensable.
It didn’t.
I put in a lot of effort and worked extra hours. I made sacrifices. I suffered burnout and recovered. I delivered on metrics. We won awards. Despite all of this, I was still laid off.
This experience taught me a hard, but important, lesson. No matter how driven or capable you are, overwork and self-neglect are not safeguards. Really, they are traps that can cost your health and your energy.
Remote work amplified some hard truths for me:
- The overachiever’s trap: When no one sees you working, it’s easy to feel like you have to constantly prove your value. Ugh. This one. Every damn day.
- The sedentary sacrifice: Hours of sitting and skipping movement take a toll on your body and mind. While everyone at headquarters at least moves rooms, I remained at my desk ALL DAY. So unhealthy.
- The illusion of availability: Being “always on” doesn’t make you indispensable; it makes you exhausted. For me, it was one more email. Checking for messages on my phone. Poor sleep. Lack of boundaries.
So, how do we recover and lead differently? Below are some of things I did.
- Redefine presence: Your worth isn’t measured in hours logged. Focus on impact, not constant visibility. I was fully present and available during set hours. If there was an emergency, I responded. (But rarely were these ‘true’ emergencies. More on this later.)
- Set boundaries: Protect your time and energy. Even if it feels uncomfortable at first. And it likely will be hard. But burnout recovery will ask you to disappoint others before you disappoint yourself.
- Prioritize movement and self-care: Small daily habits, like walks or mindful pauses, are essential for sustainable leadership. Honestly they are essential for a joyful, healthy life.
- Lead with humanity: Model balance for your team. Walk the walk. When you care for yourself, you show others it’s possible to thrive without burning out.
I can’t change the past, but I can change how I approach work moving forward. I’ve learned that slowing down doesn’t make me less effective. It actually makes me more human, more strategic, and more present for myself and the people I lead.
Remote work can offer freedom and support creativity, but only when we respect our own limits. If you’re a driven, ambitious individual, know that working yourself to exhaustion doesn’t guarantee success.
Know that you can be excellent and healthy. You can lead boldly and sustainably.
Because leadership that depletes us isn’t leadership at all.
Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash